Internet helps Martha Stewart break her chains

Dude, we're seriously tempted to rig up some white collar crime schemes 'cuz the sitch isn't looking half bad even if we do get caught. Martha Stewart (interior decorating diva, convict) told the press she routinely removes her ankle bracelet monitoring device to avoid that tragic "lockdown" feeling. Where'd she acquire the mad skillz? Where else does anybody learn anything these days — she picked it up on ye olde interwebs. She's supposed to be confined to her Bedford, NY farm for 120 hours per week, which she describes as being worse than her term in prison, where she could apparently roam the streets 100 acres of prison grounds from 6:30am to 10:00pm every day. Huh. Yeah,
we hereby swear off our former petty crime and drug dealing ways — we're setting our sights on perping some multi-million dollar scandals that won't get us in nearly as much trouble.