2008's Biggest Blips: Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles

Developer: Gameloft
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release: February 5

When Assassin's Creed was first confirmed for the DS, we spent a lot of time speculating about just what it could be. It didn't seem possible that the epic game could be squeezed down into a handheld-sized title, so we assumed the worst, and we weren't alone. But now that we've finally learned a little about the prequel, we thought it might be a good time to reminisce about those dark days of speculation and recap all the things Assassin's Creed: Altaïr's Chronicles isn't.

It's not quite the console/PC version:

It's not Apollo Creed:

Or, now that you mention it, Apollo Justice:


Definitely not Assassins of Creed:

Not, as Penny Arcade speculated, Assassin's Crossing:

Also, not as we once theorized, a rollicking pirate adventure. At least, we think. Pirates are insidious.
We really hope it's not like this:
Because that causes this, and lots of this:

And no one likes that.

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